Apparently to change your name back after a divorce, you must have that written in the divorce decree. He has to “give you permission” to take back your maiden name. Never have I heard something so ridiculous. So, my options are, get the divorce amended by the judge, keep my name the same, or go for a “Common Useage” name change. There are rules to that but for the most part, I just use the name I want consistently.
Lets examine these options. In the last post, we examined why I prefer not to keep my name the same. But amending the divorce decree will be difficult, and my ex would have to agree to it. If he thinks it is important to me, he is not likely to agree to it in the first place.
I don’t think I understand this common usage thing. I suspect that you would have to be awfully consistent, but how do you do so when you often have to back everything up with identification? I don’t really get it.
So I suppose for now, I am stuck with this name I took. Too bad really. I am a little down about it. I suppose it is that rebellious nature I just talked about getting really bent out of shape that he can dictate what name I can or cannot have. Boy that really rubs me the wrong way!
I did the “common usage” change when I got married. For the most part, I needed my marriage certificate. Perhaps the divorce decree would suffice in that case. Once you have your driver’s license and SS card, you can use those for anything else you need to change. I really didn’t have much trouble changing anything, Paypal oddly enough was the biggest pain (5 yrs on they still have my old name lol).
Here in NC I also had the option of going to court for a legal name change (which doesn’t need anyone else’s approval), so maybe that is an option for you. In this state you are only allowed to go that route once (why? don’t ask me :P) and well you never know so I didn’t do that.
Good luck with it, I do think it would be such a freeing thing for you
Comment by JenW — September 28, 2007 @ 3:36 pm
Well that is the thing, I went to the SS office today to change it, and they were the ones who told me that I needed it to be stated in the divorce decree. How annoying is that?
One of those cases where I think the attorney should have let me know that, though maybe he did and it was all so long ago and I was so confused that it didn’t seem important. I don’t know!
Comment by shellssells — September 28, 2007 @ 3:39 pm
I was telling John about this last night, and he said couldn’t you go to another state (or Vegas lol) to do it? I have no idea if that would work but maybe it’s an idea?
Comment by JenW — October 2, 2007 @ 7:50 am
Heh, maybe. I would have to check that those states have laws that say I can do it without the divorce decree stating it. I am fairly close to 3 states other than my own so it would be worth some research! Though, if it is the social security office with the rule itself, then perhaps it is nationwide.
Comment by shellssells — October 2, 2007 @ 7:52 am
hEY GALS! Simply ask the clerk of courts for a name change form. You will have to go before a judge. It will cost about $25.00. You should be able to see the judge within one month.
Fill out your form as to what you want your name to be. The judge will ask why you want to change your name. Tell him/her that you want to be known as your former name or maiden name.
Usually, there is no problem.
Comment by ELAYNNA — October 2, 2007 @ 10:44 am
Awesome info, thank you sooooo much!
Comment by shellssells — October 2, 2007 @ 10:46 am