New Roots

I find that everywhere I go I am making new roots. To me, I find this to be one of the most stressful things to do. Yet if I look back on the places I have lived, it is the places where I actively cultivated friendships and developed ties to an area that I remember with the most fondness.

With all the turmoil that happened in my life around the time I moved to this city, some of that friendship development sort of got put on a back burner. It wasn’t that I failed to make friends, no, I did have various groups of supportive people around me, but except for my 2 favorite coworkers, none of them became particularly long term friendships.

This might be, in part, because I am a notoriously “bad” friend. I don’t call people on the phone. I often don’t return phone calls. I may not seek out blocks of time to spend with you, preferring the relative solitude of my own home. I will forget your birthday and your anniversary and your children’s birthdays. I won’t even send a card. See? I am kind of an unusual friend. Of course on the other hand, when we do spend time together, I will listen to your stories and I will remember them, I will give you my thoughts on a subject if you ask for them, and I will be supportive of your decisions even if they wouldn’t be what I chose to do. I will do my level best to not get defensive when you tell me something I don’t want to hear but is true. So there is some sort of disconnect between the the surface actions that make people feel special and the deeper actions of friends that some people find disconcerting about me.

About a year ago, I had the great privilege of meeting 4 other women around my age who all shared a common hobby with me. These 4 lovely women had know each other for awhile, yet they welcomed me in and I quickly felt a common bond even with all our collective uniqueness.  What I enjoy the most about them is that since each of them is confident and successful and has their own life, there is none of the neediness that has gone on in past friendships I have had.  Each is free to do their own thing and spend time together when warranted.

So now I get to put down some roots in this city where I am now and I get to enjoy and celebrate the good parts of life with 4 women whom I admire and respect.

One of these gals wrote a wonderful roots themed post which I loved and thought was very astute.  Enjoy, if you will, Not your grandma’s theology, from Square Peg in a Round Hole.

And I must add, I am finding it desperately difficult not to post knitting content.  I feel that you are all in for it when this week is up!